Our Stories: Profiles of Same-Sex Couples in Maine

Rita Clifford and Sara Jane Elliot

We met in 1980 in South Paris, at a time and in a place where women falling in love with each other was something that didn't happen. We thought we were the only lesbians on the planet, let alone in Maine.

Back then, there were no role models in the public eye, so people struggled with who we were. To be honest, we struggled for a while, trying to figure it all out ourselves. But challenges like that really do make you stronger, and bring you closer together. We have learned a lot about ourselves over the years. And we have friends and neighbors who respect us for who we are.

We committed our lives to each other more than 25 years ago in a simple ceremony with friends. In the years since, we have watched our seven children leave home and start families of their own, and have experienced the joy of eight grandchildren. We worked at careers we loved—Sara Jane as a financial consultant for educators, and Rita as a school guidance counselor. We joined a Quaker meeting and helped our members adopt a minute welcoming all people, regardless of sexual orientation.

Like any couple, we have had our hard times. Sara Jane has had issues with her children that have taken many years to resolve. And the loss of Rita’s mom last year was difficult for both of us.

We have come a long way since our days in South Paris. We now live in Scarborough and are enjoying retirement and life as grandparents. We garden, cook, golf, and spend time with friends and family.

There are still things we’re working towards. At the top of the list is marriage. Marriage would give us the peace of mind of having legal protections we need as we age. It also would be a wonderful celebration of our years together, of our family, of the commitment we have shared for more than 25 years.

But most of all, we want to get married for the same reason any other couple does. Because we love each other.

Share Your Story

Times have changed since Rita and Sara Jane met in South Paris. But as a community we still must work to educate Mainers about the reality of the same-sex couples who are their family, neighbors, friends, and colleagues.

You can help—here and now—by sharing your story, or the story of a same-sex couple who has inspired you.

These stories will help EqualityMaine and GLAD raise awareness of the reality of same-sex relationships throughout Maine. The project, Our Stories: Profiles of Same-Sex Couples in Maine, will be featured on www.ourstoriesme.org, and in a print storybook. By showing Mainers what love really looks like, we'll open minds and hearts - and move closer to full equality for the LGBT community.

Please fill out our online survey here to tell us your story in approximately 400 words. To be considered for inclusion in this project, please submit your story by June 21, 2008. Once we have compiled submissions, we are happy to help you edit your story for length and clarity, if necessary.

As always, thank you for your commitment to equality.

EqualityMaine and GLAD

See more of Rita and Sara Jane's story, and the stories of other Maine couples, in our video The Way Life Should Be: Marriage in Maine